Why adoption?
This is the story of June and Bill. Like many people, they always knew they wanted to be parents. They were married in early 2012 and soon after began trying to conceive. After 12 months without success, they sought medical support. It wasn’t a big surprise to them that they might need help with their fertility journey — June had always had irregular periods and had previously been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).
Common side effects of PCOS (relevant to this story) include:
- Irregular periods
- Difficulty getting pregnant
- Weight gain, including difficulty managing and losing weight
Unfortunately, despite initial optimism, their experience with the NHS when it came to support for PCOS and fertility left a lot to be desired. When not actively trying to conceive, the recommended treatment for women with PCOS and irregular periods was the contraceptive pill or similar medications. Of course, contraceptives also prevent pregnancy.
June had always struggled with her weight, and this became worse when she came off the contraceptive pill. At this stage, she had tried to lose weight and looked to the NHS for help. A referral to WeightWatchers and an off‑label prescription later, June had lost some weight — but not enough for the NHS to offer IVF. One particular consultation stood out as the moment the couple began to realise that NHS support with fertility was unlikely to succeed.
A doctor — rude and, ironically, significantly overweight himself — spent the entire appointment lecturing June about the need to lose weight and insisting it “wasn’t that hard”.
It took time, but June and Bill began to accept that they would not become parents biologically. They built a life together without children and did their best to move on. Yet there was always a nagging sensation that something was missing.
Two Days Before Everything Changed
Years passed. June and Bill had just returned from a fabulous week in the Highlands, still buzzing from seeing the Northern Lights. During the drive home, they received a message from close friends — a photograph of an ultrasound labelled “Baby One” and “Baby Two”. Their friends were expecting twins.
Of course, they were over the moon for them. Twins were a surprise to their friends, but not entirely unexpected. They had always wanted a large family. Still, every time they heard news of someone close expecting a baby, it reopened old wounds. The joy of the holiday faded, and their grief about infertility returned.
Day 1 - The first day of the rest of their lives
The drive home was quiet, as was the following day. June in particular was struggling with her feelings. In an effort to lift her mood before returning to work, Bill persuaded her to go out for lunch. During the drive, conversation turned to the twins and to their own struggles with infertility. This ultimately led to a pivotal moment in their journey:
Bill: “Are we ready to consider adoption now?” June: “Yes, I think so.”
Although adoption and fostering had come up in the past, it had never quite felt right, not until now. This time they felt ready. During the rest of the drive, they discussed and agreed that they would look into adoption. They resolved that as they progressed through the journey, they would check in with one another at every stage, discuss what they had learned, and re‑commit to moving forward together.
When they arrived at the restaurant, Bill looked up local adoption agencies for their county and read a little about the process, sharing this with June. Before the server had even taken their drinks order, the agency contact form had been filled in and submitted. They had completed their first step: they had contacted an adoption agency.